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Love at First Spit: The Dirty Science Behind Smooching

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The Secret Science of Smooches: How Your Microbiome Might Be the Only Thing Getting Action

Kissing: humanity’s favorite way to exchange affection, saliva, and occasionally mono. While the movies would have you believe kisses are driven by love, lust, or Nicholas Sparks-induced poor judgment... #Science is here to ruin that illusion with a petri dish and a microscope.

Because when lips lock, it’s not just your heart fluttering, it’s your microbiome throwing a rave.


💋 Your Mouth: A Moist Microbial Melting Pot

Before we get romantic, let’s get real. Your mouth is not a pristine palace of passion. It’s a damp, squishy swamp housing over 700 different bacterial species (Dewhirst et al., 2010). #Streptococcus, #Actinomyces, #Fusobacteria...they’re all just squatting on your #tongue like they pay rent.🤢

Now imagine pressing that onto someone else’s bacteria-laden mouth. That’s not love, that’s biological warfare with a side of halitosis.😶‍🌫️ (Yes, I'm real fun at parties...)


In 2014, a Dutch study published in #Microbiome (Kort et al., 2014) decided to quantify the chaos:

a 10-second French kiss(Anger Management reference not intended, but funny anyhow...) transfers up to 80 million bacteria. That’s right, every steamy smooch is basically a microbial flash mob. And if you’re kissing someone with poor oral hygiene, congratulations.... you’ve just inherited a new ecosystem.😳

Will that make you think twice about locking lips with a stranger? I used to talk about this with my kids in the context of using someone else's tooth brush...🪥 If that sounds revolting, you might want to think twice about swapping other "fluids" too...😬


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🧬 Microbiome Matchmaking: Because Tinder Wasn’t Weird Enough

Romantic partners who kiss frequently end up with more similar #oralmicrobiomes. It’s like bacteria start filing change-of-address forms after your third date. Researchers swabbed couples’ tongues and saliva before and after kissing, and found their oral bacteria began to sync up like menstrual cycles in a college dorm.

But here's the microbial mic drop: some people may already have similar microbiomes before they kiss. Meaning your bacteria might be sniffing out their future colony cohabitants before you even swipe right.

That’s right. Your oral flora might be scouting out your next relationship while your frontal lobe is still busy ignoring red flags.


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👃 When Your Nose Knows: Body Odor, Immunity, and Love’s Aromatic Lies

If oral microbes aren’t enough, your #skinmicrobiome is also matchmaking behind your back, by manipulating your body odor.😷

Multiple studies, including the infamous sweaty t-shirt experiment (Wedekind et al., 1995), suggest people are attracted to those with different #HLAgenes (human leukocyte antigen), which help build robust immune systems in offspring. Basically, your #armpits are playing genetic wingman... Better than Goose in Top Gun apparently...

How? #Bacteria on your skin help break down sweat into volatile compounds, which give you your signature scent. You’re not smelling “natural pheromones.” You’re smelling the chemical love letters written by your #Staphylococcusepidermidis and #Corynebacterium. Sexy. 🥴


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🤔 Kiss Me Like You Mean It (and Like Your Microbiome Approves)

Still convinced kissing is just about romance? Let’s recap what you’re really doing:

  • Swapping up to 80 million bacteria in 10 seconds

  • Gradually synchronizing your oral microbiota like a symbiotic Spotify playlist

  • Possibly gravitating toward people whose immune genes don’t match yours, but whose sweat smells like potential

  • Ignoring the fact that your microbes may be better at picking partners than you are, maybe..


And yet, science hasn’t proven that bacteria alone cause #attraction. Correlation ≠ causation, which means Brad Pitt still won’t kiss you just because your microbiome matches his. Damn!😒

But we do know that microbial compatibility might affect relationship satisfaction, immunity, and even gut-brain communication.

So..

Next time you’re wondering if he’s The One, maybe ask: Does his Prevotella complement my Bifidobacterium?🤓


🦠 Love in the Time of Lactobacillus

What’s the takeaway?

  • Brush your teeth. 🪥

    Not just for your date, but to keep your Streptococcus mutans from staging a coup.


  • Trust your instincts, and your nose. 

    If someone’s scent turns you off, it might be your immune system trying to ghost them first.


  • Make out responsibly. 

    Your microbiome is building long-term relationships even if you’re just in it for the apps and dessert.


  • Stop blaming your dating history on fate. 

  • Maybe it wasn’t trauma bonding, maybe it was microbial clashing.


In the end, love might not be about hearts or destiny. It might just be bacterial compatibility and shared gingival inflammation.👅

So go ahead... Kiss passionately... But remember: every smooch is a microbial gamble.

And love? It might just be a side effect of the world’s most intimate bacterial handshake.🤝


🧾 References (For the Nerds Who Need Proof)

  • Dewhirst, F.E., et al. (2010). The human oral microbiome. Journal of Bacteriology.

  • Kort, R., et al. (2014). Shifting the oral microbiome through kissing. Microbiome.

  • Wedekind, C., et al. (1995). MHC-dependent mate preferences in humans. Proceedings of the Royal Society B.

  • Lenochova, P., et al. (2012). Chemosensory communication of gender through body odor. Chemical Senses.



Disclaimer: This post is not medical advice. If you want medical advice, ask your doctor, not your cousin’s Instagram. 


*If you would like more information on nutrition and/or lifestyle changes or have questions, feel free to message me, or you can book a free Discovery call to see if I can help you. 

Book at redtreelifeandwellnesscoaching.com or call/text 919-246-9905

or use this link to book directly on my calendar⬇️



 
 
 

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