Parenting’s Daily Games: May the Odds Be Ever in Your Favor...

Jennifer Tollefsrud
Sep 2
4 min read

The Sensory Olympics: Parenting With Competing Needs Under One Roof

So, you thought family life meant a Norman Rockwell painting with dinner at six, maybe some mild #chaos, and enough laundry to question your will to live. Let me shatter that dream for you...🔨

Instead… Welcome to the Sensory Olympics… the never-ending tournament where every family member’s nervous system competes, nobody wins, and the gold medal event is arguing over the crunchy granola bar...Seriously.😑

Welcome to the Thunderdome (again, I'm a Gen X'er...there will be LOTS of 80's references!):

Let’s get one thing clear: if you’re #neurodiverse, or parenting someone who is, you don’t live in a “home”, you live in a neurological colosseum. A place where every lightbulb, soundwave, and fabric tag is a gladiator with a grudge.

#Neuroscience tells us sensory processing isn’t just a #quirky personality trait; it’s literally how the brain #filters and #interprets incoming #data from the world (Miller et al., 2007, American Journal of Occupational Therapy)…. And for about 5–16% of children (depending on the study)…

Those filters are like a colander trying to hold soup (Ahn et al., 2004, Pediatrics).

Translation: someone’s going to spill, and it’s probably tears.😭

So when your kid busts out a trumpet solo at 7:00 a.m. “because that’s when creativity strikes” (also known as “circadian rhythm chaos”), your brain’s auditory cortex responds like it’s under siege (Khalfa et al., 2004, Brain).😖

Sensory needs are less “quirky family traits” and more “neurological landmines” (Schaaf & Davies, 2010, Frontiers in Integrative Neuroscience). One flick of the wrong light switch, and suddenly serenity has turned into “cat stuck in a blender.”

If you know, you know…

Competing Needs: Weapons-Grade Sensory Clashes

Here’s where it gets Olympic-level: those “adorable” #sensorypreferences? They scale like a nuclear arms race.

Your kid loves velvet; you’d rather lick sandpaper (Fun fact: tactile hypersensitivity is linked to amygdala overactivation, Han et al., 2019, NeuroImage).
You need quiet; your kid requires decibel levels measurable from space (auditory hypersensitivity is tied to hyperactive auditory brainstem responses, Khalfa et al., 2004).
You want edible dinner; your kid wants NASA-level plating precision. (Don’t let food touch! Temperature must be “Goldilocks-certified.” Tasted texture aversion is well-documented in autism, Cermak et al., 2010, Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders.)

Top 5 Sensory Battles You Didn’t Know Were Possible

The Great Sock Showdown: Research confirms tactile defensiveness is real (Baranek, 2002, American Journal of Occupational Therapy).

Translation: seams are evil incarnate.

2. Children with auditory over-responsivity show cortisol spikes at ordinary noise (Suarez, 2012, Physiology & Behavior).

Translation: Alexa is trying to kill you.

The Smell Situation: Olfactory sensitivity is common in ADHD and autism (Kudryavtseva et al., 2018, Frontiers in Human Neuroscience).

Translation: coconut shampoo = biochemical weapon.

The Food Texture Tragedy: 46–89% of autistic kids have feeding challenges (Ledford & Gast, 2006).

Translation: Yogurt + granola = family Armageddon.

The Lighting Derby: Photophobia and migraine sensitivity are linked to cortical hyperexcitability (Main et al., 2000, Cephalalgia).

Translation: “daylight bulbs” = crime against humanity.

Survival Strategies for the Sensory Olympics

Sound Wrestling

Noise zones. #Headphones. #Earplugs. Studies show noise-cancelling devices can reduce perceived auditory distress by 50% (Stansfeld & Matheson, 2003). Winner gets three minutes of bliss before the next meltdown.

Texture Tug-of-War

Rotate fabric choices. Research confirms gradual exposure reduces tactile defensiveness (Bundy et al., 2002). Translation: embrace “Tactile Tuesday” where everyone wears their most hated fabric and bonds over mutual loathing.

Lighting Relays

Curtain diplomacy. Sunglasses indoors. Studies suggest blue-light filtering reduces sensory overload in ASD populations (Spencer et al., 2018). Translation: embrace your inner celebrity.

The Sensory Menu

Every family member gets a weekly pick. Abuse your power (“I want dinner in darkness”) and you’re demoted to “Assistant to the Regional Sensory Manager.”😉

Supporting One Another: Survival Is a Team Sport

Pretending you don’t have needs? Cute. 🙄

Science says #suppression increases stress and reduces #emotionalregulation (Gross & Levenson, 1997, Journal of Personality and Social Psychology).

Teach kids to script their needs:

“I need quiet or I’ll start speaking in tongues.”
“I know jeans are scratchy; let’s meet in stretchy truce.”

#Empathy isn’t just moral fluff. Mirror neuron research (Rizzolatti & Craighero, 2004, Annual Review of Neuroscience) shows our brains literally sync when we #understand another’s discomfort.

Or, as I like to call it: mutually assured destruction prevention.💣

Building Your Sensory Playbook

Your toolkit (evidence-based, but still ridiculous):

Earmuffs (Siegel & Beaulieu, 2012, OT Practice). Huh??? Ear plugs are what we use in my house.
Weighted blankets (Chen et al., 2013, Sleep Medicine). Prepare for custody battles. We each have our own.
Visual schedules (Dettmer et al., 2000, Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders). Spoiler: bribery sometimes works better.

Closing Ceremonies: No Gold, Just Sanity Tokens

The Sensory Olympics doesn’t hand out medals. It hands out stress-induced twitches, oddly specific snack rules, and stories that sound fake but aren’t. If everyone’s fed, clothed, and only mildly traumatized by bedtime? Congratulations!!! You’ve won.🏅

...And if you’re currently hiding in a pitch-black room with with an open can of frosting and a spoon…congratulations…. “The Games” continue at dawn.

“May The Odds Be Ever In Your Favor…”